Ten Things I Hate About You
by MissBunny
Summary: *No, this is not based on the movie* A dramatic version of the lives of these characters in the future. Please, if you do not feel comfortable with self-violence, I advise you not to read on.
1. Chapter One

Title: Ten Things I Hate About You - Part two

Author: Akane "Bunny" Tendo

E-mail: Akane_Bunny_Tendo@yahoo.com

Rating: R

AN - WARNING!!!WARNING!!!**This fic is meant for the adult audience, it is not intended for viewers younger than 13 years of age. ** WARNING!!! WARNING!!! Also, the characters, as you'll see in the later portion of this section, are more sensitive, emotionally.And please remember that just because Helga does not end up with Arnold in the BEGINNING does not necessarily mean that will be the outcome of this story.That's it, enjoy!! ;) 

*indicates further explanation below

~*Ten Things I Hate About You*~

There was an eerie silence flowing through the air as she left the restroom and the painful self-hatred admissions of her best friend."Best friend?" She asked herself."What kind of friend lets their dearest companion go astray in pain and mourning without at least beckoning her to her side?Certainly not me…" she said as she continued her way down the halls of the library, her limbs numb from the encounter."All this time… why didn't I notice how much pain she was in?"

Memories of the past came back to haunt her… Images of a distraught Helga one minute… and a wall built up the minute her dear friend noticed her.Images of them growing further and further apart each day… Five days a week together, down to four, down to three, and further till all there was was a brief brush of connection until she hardly ever saw her friend again.

"But maybe she was busy…" her mind deposited for her."Busy doing what, Phoebe?" Her alternate asked."Busy… busy with school.Busy with…" she stumbled searching for some kind of excuse as to why she couldn't be there."You can't say it, can you?"It's coldness seethed into her like icicles puncturing a warm surface."Can you actually sit there and tell me that you didn't notice or that you didn't _want _to notice?"

Didn't want to notice… It echoed through her like a ghostly chant."Yes… so busy with school." She thought."I was always so busy.And she… I guess there were times where… I would brush her off to the side, thinking it was just another problem she was having with the family.The usual quarrel here and there.Of course… not as bad as before, but… There was still that feeling…But I always thought she was happy with Derek before their fallout.But this… I never expected." She concluded staring off into space."But that doesn't mean there's still not time… to fix what has been broken."

With that thought, Phoebe redirected her path back towards her weeping friend.

After what seemed like an eternity of tears, past emotions, tormenting pain swimming inside her, Helga finally decided… "No more pain.No more pain."She called out to the air somewhat expecting it to soothe her and beg her to continue.Gripping her hand tightly against her side, she felt a sense of withdrawal from the warm liquid seeping out, sending trickles of it down to the ground.Opening her palm, she carefully examined the piece of metal. "No more pain."She said once again as she guided the object up towards her awaiting flesh.

As her hand gradually came further down, glimpses of the past started to register into her mind… From all those who had caused her pain, to those who had stuck with her, to those who simply gave up.As the sharp object came in contact with her flesh, a tiny spasm sent a wave of pain through her body before allowing her to go on."No more…" she said preparing to dive it within her.

Before she could make that final step however, a sound paralyzed her from further movement.A sound… no, rather a rush of breath.Turning her head ever so slowly, blue eyes came in contact with glazed blue eyes.Frightened, she pulled away, gripping her palm back to rest beside her on the damp floor.

"Hel…" started the person before her.She couldn't allow the words to escape her mouth.Her own mind could not even register the image in front of her with complete accuracy.Breakdown… a simple and pure breakdown.Taking a breath, she allowed the image to slowly flow through her mind.That was when the tears finally brimmed her eyelashes and thus escaped a strangled and week scream.It was low, but enough for the image to hear it."Helga…" she said as her voice finally made connection with her thoughts.

"Just go away, Phoebes." Said the solemn girl before her."Please… leave…" She said, turning so that her friend couldn't see the pain in her features.That or so she couldn't see the terrified look her friend's eyes were emanating.

"No, not anymore… I… I can't… not anymore, Helga."She said in a hushed tone."I won't leave your side again.I've done it enough and now…" She continued, bowing her head in agony."Please, let me help.You don't have to do this.At least…"

"No!You wouldn't understand." She screamed, startling her friend… causing whatever form of life to fly off the windowsill of the restroom."You don't understand!Everyone leaves… everyone… everyone!"She cried out as she sat against the corner of the room, hugging her body… cradling it as it shivered restlessly."Hurt… hurt… why must they always…"

"Please…" She said as she slowly approached her on the ground.

"Stay away!" She screamed, cringing further into the wall."You don't understand… how could you understand?!" She screamed."You've always had everything!Everything!Someone to love… your family… they were always with you.Gerald… everyone.You've never been hurt…"  
  


"Helga…"

"Shut up!" She screamed!

"Please… don't do this.Please, Helga!"

"No…" she continued, shaking more and more with each breath."Can't… I can't…" With that… she broke down into sobs, holding onto herself so tightly, her nails dug into her flesh.Her head resting between her knees, all that could be heard between the sobs were muffled words tossed here and there.

Seeing as she wasn't going to do anything drastic at this moment, Phoebe chose it as her opening to come closer to the broken girl.Kneeling beside her, she gently engulfed the shaking body into her own."Everything will be okay, Helga… You'll see.Just… believe.Please, believe."

After what seemed like an endless roller coaster of fear and sorrow, Phoebe was finally able to calm down the brooding figure."Helga…" she whispered to her friend.After a soft hum she continued, "I want you to do something for me."Silence… "Please… promise me you'll talk to my friend.She's… she's very kind… and gentle.She'll help you with all your worries… and troubles… More than I can or ever have.Please promise me this."After her calming words, she felt a gentle nod before the fragile object within her gently fell into a sleepy haze.

She had been searching through her desk for a file for the past ten minutes now."Where are those documents?!" She screamed within her mind."I could have sworn I had them right here!"After taking several breaths of air, she finally pressed the button to the machine resting beside her."Dianne!" She screamed into the object.A muffled "yes doctor" was heard before it clicked over."Have you seen the file on the Cunningham case lately?" she asked in a demanding tone. 

"Y… yes, mam."Came a nervous voice on the other end."You left it in the hallway.I didn't think it would be proper to have the file laying around… so…" An audible gulp was heard at this point."…I placed it on your vodka lounge so you could take a look at it… later."She finished with a strangled breath of air.

"Oh…" came the startled reply."Well, then… just make sure to let me know that the next time you correct… you move office material again!" She said before hastily removing her finger from the button again.

"Y… yes, mam." Finished Dianne.

Minutes passed as she went on examining her office."I am the epitome of perfection," she mused roaming her eyes over the expensive furniture and her well-equipped vodka lounge, library, and foldout television screen built luxuriously into the oak wall."My parents were right… all that work and a few chance acquaintances sure paid off."

A near deafening sound erupting near her made her jump in fright, clinging to her leather chair, and all thoughts of paradise quickly drifting away.Clicking on the button to the machine for the umpteenth time of the day she called out "what is it Dianne?!And didn't I tell you to get someone to fix this d$#n machine?!" she yelled into the speaker.

After a very large sweatdrop, the voice was able to answer."S… sorry, mam.A new patient called to make an appointment.I think the person making the appointment for her is one of your interns." * She said calmly yet with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

An exasperated sigh came over the other side before the doctor spoke."Dianne!You know very well we don't acceptsecond party calls in my office.The patient has to be fully capable of coming on his or her own free will.This is not a…"

"Yes, I know doctor," cut in Dianne."…but she said it was an emergency and her friend is fully willing to come here on her own accord.She's only willing to come though if Hyerdahl comes along with her."

Another sigh was accompanied again by the clicking of the line."Fine… fine.Just as long as she's fully willing to come, but make sure the girl has whatever means to pay for our services."She finished coldly.

Dianne could only shake her head in dismay as she said her regularly "yes, doctor" and carried on with her duties.

A week had passed since that dreadful day.It was that time… the time for broken pieces to be placed back together.A time for all wrongs to be set back to their rightful places on the board of life.A time to say to yourself…

"I don't think this is right!" she shouted out towards her friend.

"Helga… I told you everything would be fine.She soothed."Just trust me.I know this doctor.She's a very nice person.Reminds me a lot of yourself at times.Don't worry." She said as she guided her friend towards the entrance of the building.

"But, Phoebes…" she stopped dead in her tracks as she saw the building before her."Wow… to say this doctor's rich is an understatement!Looks more like a hotel." She breathed out as her eyes roamed through the leather couch, marble floor, and drinking lounge.

"May I help you?" Called out a soft voice from across the room.Looking further she noticed a tall figure with ebony hair cascading off her shoulders, clad in office apparel.She appeared to have an authoritative look to her, yet behind the eyes… you could still see the timid child within were you to know her well."Ahh… Phoebe Hyerdahl!It's a pleasure to see you again."

"Again?" Asked a startled Helga turning towards her friend in a questioning manner and back towards the secretary before them.

"Oh, yes.Sorry for my lack of manners," she answered."My name is Dianne and Phoebe has been helping us out around here from time to time.She's actually an intern here at our office." She continued as she began searching through files for the necessary paperwork.

"Well… it appears there's a lot I've missed out on my dear friend here throughout the years." Said Helga as she looked up behind her.

Phoebe allowed her head to hang down in guilt."Helga… I…"

Placing her foot into her mouth, she quickly added… "I… sorry, I didn't mean it," before hastily grabbing her friend's hand.

"Please…" Dianne motioned towards Phoebe and Helga."Have a seat… continue filling out these papers while I call you in to the doctor.

"Yes, Dianne," answered Phoebe before receiving the paperwork and ushering Helga towards the waiting area.

Ten minutes later, after shakily writing the required information onto the paperwork, Helga placed the pen down and handed the bundle over to Phoebe."We're ready Dianne," she called out.

"I'll have the doctor see you right away," she answered.

Outside the waiting area, Phoebe and Helga heard the click of the machine and Dianne's sweet voice as it called into the receiver."Doctor Düsterheit, your patient is ready to see you now."

"Düsterheit?" thought Helga with a smirk."What kind of…"but before she could finish her statement, a shrill scream was heard on the other end.

"Send her in and make sure you put the paperwork in the file where I can find it this time!" erupted a voice from the other end.

"Y… yes mam," answered Dianne with a pain-stricken face.

"And you said this lady was nice?!" shrieked Helga to her friend.

Phoebe could only look on baffled."W… well, she's always nice around me," she answered.

Little did Helga know that the only reason this… doctor was so keen to her friend was for her family's… financial background.

"No time to wait around now girls.The doctor doesn't like to wait around much."Said Dianne as she stood and motioned them towards the office.

As Helga entered the office by way of Phoebe, her breath caught in her throat.If the outside was grand, the inside of this lady's office was luxurious!Rare paintings hung from every wall of the room.Scanning the area she thought with a gleam in her eye, "not bad."

"Hello Phoebe…" she started before looking down towards her paperwork."…and Helga is it?"

"Yes, Dr. Dusterhight…" she said attempting to pronounce the doctor's name but failing miserably.

Looking up from under her gold-rim glasses, the doctor said with a wry grin "please… you can call me Dr. D if you prefer."

"Ahh… yes, doctor."Answered Helga looking warily at her friend.

"Please, do have a seat." She said motioning the two towards the oak-rimmed leather couches in front of her."Tell me now," she said looking up at Phoebe."What seems to be the problem why you had to come here with a patient?" She asked looking across from Phoebe to Helga.

"Well, you see…" began Phoebe as Helga interrupted her.

"Look… I just have this problem that needs fixing, okay?Now would you kindly just do your pep talk so we can hurry on out of here?"Thus ended with Helga's natural fire making its entrance towards the doctor's shocked face.

"Well now… I think I'll like this girl."Said Dr. D. as she looked on in amazement."Hyerdol," she called towards the startled girl.Seeing as she got her attention she continued, "I think we can carry on just fine from here.If however I am in need of you're assistance, I'll be sure to contact you."

"But, Dr…"

"Nothing further.Please… if you will" she said as she motioned to the door.

"Yes, Dr." she answered before giving her friend a chagrined look and making a quick departure."I'll see you later," she mouthed before leaving.

"This is not going to be good," thought Helga as she looked up into the coldest eyes she had ever seen."Not good at all."

End of part two

Stay tuned for the next chapter of this continuing story

* I'm not sure if psychologists actually have interns, but… oh… play along.If you'd like to correct me… be my guest.

** This part is short… I'll try to get the next one longer and hopefully not as… dark?And please… no flames… Though if you'd like to come by and stand off on your opinions, be my guest.I'm not one to shut people out… to a point.

*** As for the characters' in all this… yes, they have changed dramatically… more shall be explained later on.They're in a sense… chaotic?But it will all be organized later on… (if you know me, you'll know why) :P

**** This section will definitely be edited and revised at a later date.But as for now… 


	2. Chpater Two

Title: Ten Things I Hate About You - Part one

Author: Akane "Bunny" Tendo

E-mail: HelgaGPataki@excite.com

Rating: PG-13

AN - WARNING!!!WARNING!!!**This fic is meant for the adult audience, it is not intended for viewers younger than 13 years of age. ** WARNING!!! WARNING!!! Also, the characters, as you'll see in the later portion of this section, are more sensitive, emotionally.And please remember that just because Helga does not end up with Arnold in the BEGINNING does not necessarily mean that will be the outcome of this story.That's it, enjoy!! ;) 

*indicates further explanation below

~*Ten Things I Hate About You*~

It's that time of the year again.The time where all is right and peaceful in life.The trees are filled with beautiful birds mating with their loved ones.The sky is a bright blue, with only a single cloud looking down upon our favorite couple as they resite those loving words to each other...

"Get out of my face, football-head!!"Yelled a girl with blond hair to a guy with an odd facial shape.

"Not until you make the first move, you insensitive hack!"Yelled back the young man.

...yes, they were a loving couple indeed.Both had been "friends" since the day they could remember.Though they never always got along, everyone gradually got the hunch they felt something for each other, no matter how much they tried to deny it.

"Would you look at that!"Called out one of their friends as he approached the two.He had long brown hair reaching to the heavens and a fairly dark skin tone."It's been what?Twelve years and you two are STILL fighting!"Along side him was his fiancée, Pheobe.

"Well, tall-hair boy!" Started Helga."Not everyone is into getting married as you two are.Besides, I got more important things to do than thinking about marriage right now."

"Well, guess you have to think that way when no one's offering."Muttered Arnold while letting out a fake cough into his hands.

"What did you say, you moron!?!Care to repeat that?"She yelled, raising her fist dangerously close to Arnold's face.

Phoebe, seeing where this was leading up to, decided to intercept the conversation."Now, now you two."She said while taking hold of Helga's hand."You two need to get along with each other.One day you're going to get yourselves hurt."She said as she backed away, going along-side Gerald."Who knows, maybe one day you two may even begin to love each other."She said while holding on to Gerald's hand.

Helga, hearing those words, began to day-dream...something she hadn't done in years.Not since the day IT happened.Pictures of Arnold holding her close, kissing her, carressing her, loving her, began swiming through her mind.Then the memory returned of that faitful day.She lifted up her head, tightening her fist against her sides in an effort to hide all the pain.

"Why would I want to be with an insensitive jerk like him!?!Besides, he's got that prissy-faced, "I'm a model with nothing upstairs" freak anyway."She said as she picked up her books and left.

"Man, I honestly don't know what's wrong with her!"Shouted Arnold as he swung his back-pack over his shoulder."It's like one minute she's fine and the next..."He said sighing in resignation.

Both Phoebe and Gerald turned their heads with knowing looks."Maybe...you should just lay off her for a while man."He said as he put his hand over Arnold's shoulder.

"Yes, she's been through a lot lately.More than you'll ever know."Finished Phoebe with a sad expression on her face.

"Women!"Shouted Arnold as he gathered the rest of his things and left for class.

Meanwhile, inside the library...

Helga had run, dropping most of her papers in the process.She ran as fast as she could to the library, her sanctuary.It was the only place she could go to for solitude.She went into the restroom, cotched herself in the small crook of the restroom stall and began to weep. 

Memories of that faitful day began to swim through her mind again, aching her heart every moment the pictures changed.

~*flashback sequence*~

It was a bright and beautiful day.A young girl in her late teens was outside her house reading a love novel on her front steps.She had a long tight dress to add accent to the wondeful features she had acquired through life.As she was reading, a young man with dark hair, blue eyes, and light skin hid behind her, placing his hands over her eyes, blocking her vision.

"Hello, beautiful."Said the young man as he lightly kissed her neck.

She was shocked at first, until her mind made the connection of his knowing lips against her skin.She turned around, glowing happily."Derek!" She shouted as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing him pationately on the lips, licking them lovingly before moving on to the edges of his ears.

She had met him a few months ago, the time she truly knew Arnold had no feelings for her whatsoever.The time he had finally declared his love for the girl he had always kept hidden from everyone.

"Hey!"He called out while putting his finger at the tip of her lips."It's not right here."He said, as he pecked her cheek.

"No..." She moaned against his hard chest as she pulled him closer to him.Then, whispering in his ear... "My parents won't be back till late at night..." She said as she continued to nip at his ear.

"Honey, we can't now...it's just not..."He started before cutting his sentence short as he felt her tongue gently caress the rook of his neck.But as quickly as it started, it ended.He looked up and saw her standing over him, book in hand.

"I'll be wating."She said as she walked up the stairs and into the building.

He sat there for a while taking in the sweet smell of her skin that was now lingering in the air.With emotions filling him to the core, he tossed his system of control away and followed her loving scent into her house.As he made his way up, he began anticipating the feel of her touch agaings his body.

Inside Helga's room, she was carefully making the finishing touches...throwing her clothes into the big pile she had mounted undereath her bed.She sprayed the perfume onto her skin before applying the lingerie she had just received as a gift from one of her foreign relatives.Laying on the bed, she adjusted the straps to show a bit more skin.She looked up as she felt the presence of another in her room."Come here..." She said patting the space next to her.

Without much hesitation, Derek ushered himself towards her, lowering himself onto the bed."I've been waiting for this day for so long."He said as he moved in beside her, running his hand over her bare shoulders while scanning his eyes over the rest of her body, finally making contact with her eyes.

"As have I."She said as she motioned for him to remove his clothes.

*edited for obvious reasons*

Later that day...

"Darling." She said as she pulled herself out of bed."You better go now.My parents will be hear any minute."She said as she took out her nightgown from her dresser drawer and placed it over her body.

Sighing, he looked up at the ceiling, staring in mock boredom before feeling the impact of a pillow thrown against his face."I'm going, I'm going!"He called out at her as he placed the pillow next to him.

"Good, now go before they come!"She said as she threw his clothes at him.

The next day....

While at school, Helga saw a group of people...a rather large group of people, outside her classroom talking over themselves.Near the entrance of the classroom, she saw one of her other classmates, Nadine, coming out of the group with a horrified expression on her face.

"Nadine!"She called out to her friend as she ran up to her.

As the group heard her voice, they all spread away like a vase after making contact with the hard surface of a floor.

"What were they talking about?"She said with a worried expression on her face.

"Well..." began Nadine.But after seeing many people around her begin to crowd around, she decided to take the conversation to a more secluded area...the women's room.

"Well, what is it!?!"Yelled Helga in a frustrated tone.

"Helga...it's Derek..."She started with a sad look on her face.

"What?Is he hurt?"She asked with tears brimming at her eyes.

"It's not that, it's..." She struggled to put the words together as she saw the deep and caring look of affection Helga had for this guy."Look, Helga.Derek...he...he's been telling the guys around school that you've...that you two..." Bends her head down as she completes her sentence, afraid to see the hurt look in her eyes."...that you two had wild sex the other day in your house.He...he keeps a record of all the girls he's...he's just using you Helga.He has so many girlfriends it's...I'm so sorry."She finished as tears ran down her face.She then ran past her and out the door before she could see the pain in her face.

To say Helga was pained by this is an understatemen.A single gasp was all that could escape her lips as she dropped to the floor crying in pain."Why...why..." she asked herself as she wept on the floor.Memories of him kissing her, touching her, saying he loved... "All to get into my bedroom!!" She screamed within herself as she roughly rubbed her skin with her hands, half-hoping it would get the dirty feel off and away from her body.She felt like a piece of meat.Something men needed to get their hands on whenever the need arose.She stayed there, afraid to let herself out of the stall.Afraid of showing her hurt face to all those people...those people and their criticisms...

She fell asleep there, her tear-streaked face hidden under the golden tresses of her hair.She looked like a fallen angel.A few birds landed at the edge of the windowsill, singing a happy tune, expressing their love for each other.This only made the tears flow forth from her closed eyelids.

Outside, a few hours later, the bell rang, signalling the end of classes.Helga woke up with a start.She got up, adjusted her sweater and wiped her face with her hands.Going up to the sink, she turned on the pipe, allowing the cool water to flow over her hands before collecting some in her palms and splashing her face with it, attempting to wash away whatever scars she could dispose of...the dried up tears that had lingered on her face.But what she couldn't get rid of was the scar that would forever remain in her heart. 

Helga had stayed at home the rest of the week, afraid of showing her face to her fellow classmates...fearing what they might think of her.She felt like a complete idiot for not seeing the warning signs from before.How everyone looked at her as she'd pass by them holding his hand.How every other girl would look at him with that knowing smile.She felt incredibly dirty.But most of all, she felt used, betrayed, and hurt to the core.The one person that had loved her in her entire life used her...he took her heart and her innosence.He took away the only thing she thought she'd be able to live with...he took away whatever pride she was left with.

As she thought over the previous weeks, she realized that she had missed something very important.She ran into her room and grabbed her calendar."No, it couldn't be!" She said, mentally kicking herself in the rear for not thinking of it sooner...for not thinking of it from the get-go.

At the doctor's office...

Doctor Christian* had always been a good friend to her throughout the years.She would come into his office whenever she needed help with anything; boys, school, everything.He had seen her through the best of times and the worst of times.

"Hello, Miss Pataki!"Called out Doctor Christian from his office desk."Here to pick up your results I see."

Meanwhile, a patient listening in on the conversation thought she'd get her comments in... "My, my...I swear, Eliza!" She said, looking at her friend from the corner of her eyes while pretending to read a magazine."These kids are getting more and more out of control if you ask me!"She said while giving a short, quick nod of the chin.They were the type of lady's you'd see inside a parlor...the rich, old type that had everything to say about the younger class, how unlike they are from themselves...their hair cut short, died the darkest shade of auburn they could get it at.Nails from here to high-heaven.

After hearing the lady's comment, she looked down with embarrassment."Yes, Doctor."She said with a hint of sadness and nervousness in her voice.

"Okay, just step right in my office, Helga and I'll explain your results."Called out Dr. Christian as he began to search through a few papers on his desk.

"Yes, Doctor."She answered as she slowly entered his office, taking baby steps towards his desk.

"Please have a seat Helga."He said as he pointed to the open chair in front of him.After she took her seat, he continued."Now, you must know that being pregnant is a serious issue..." He was not able to complete his sentence as she broke down in sobs before him.

"I'm pregnant!?!"She screamed out loud inbetween sobs.

"Now, now, Miss Pataki." He said getting up from his seat and going over to her side."There are different ways we may handle this."

"There..are?"She asked, looking up at him with tears all over her face.

"Yes...first of all, there's adoption...."

"You don't understand, Dr. Christian!"She said as she looked at him with a hard face."I'm going to college in the fall!I can't afford to be pregnant.Both physically and money-wise.I just...can't!It would ruin everything!Everything!" She ended, burying her face into her hands.

"I see...well, there is abortion, though...many, including your parents might be against it." He said as he went back behind his desk.

She then thought about that for a while."Is it...is it okay if I think about it a while?"

"Yes, of course.Just don't wait too long."He said as he stood up to help her out of the office.

"Yes, of course.I know what will happen."She said as she stood up and exited the office."Thank you again, Doctor Christian...for everything."

A week later, she went back to the office...

~*/end flashback sequence*~

Inside the restroom room, at that same corner of the lady's stall, sat a very depressed Helga, holding her belly while sobbing for the child she lost*... for the terrible mistake she made just a few years ago."Why...why?"She asked herself as she cried into her arms."Why did I ever give myself to him!?!"She sobbed as she sat there for what seemed like an eternity of remembering past times."Never..." she started while gettting a hard look on her face."Never will I allow my heart to be given to any man again, ever!!"She whispered into the cold air.

Outside of the lady's room, Phoebe was just walking into the restroom when she heard sobbing coming from one of the stalls.She had been listening in on the conversation Helga was having with herself since she came in.What she heard shocked her beyond her wildest dreams...nightmares.Sure she knew that Helga had gone through a drastic experience with her former boyfriend, but little did she know just how severe the situation actually was.Since they did not attend the same high school, she was not there to hear all the rumors being spread throughout the entire school about her.She did not know just how much her friend was hurting on the inside.She had always, to this day, blocked her feelings from everyone."There's got to be something I could do!"She told herself.

End of Part One

Stay tuned for the next chapter of this continuing story.

*No, this is not part of me being....against Christian religion.There is actually a gynecologist in my state that is named Dr. Christian.So please don't send me a bunch of hate mail because of it!

*And if you're a person who's against abortion...so am I...but it is something that should be brought up... something that happens all the time in our daily lives, no matter how much we want to hide ourselves from that fact.Just like the issue of sex before marriage (which I deeply do not believe in, but have allowed myself on many ocassions to fall into the mere thought of it for love).So, please, if you are planning on sending any hate mail regarding this subject, please do it in a kind and considerate manner...no swearing, please!;)


	3. Chapter Three

Title: Ten Things I Hate About You - Part three

Author: Akane "Bunny" Tendo

E-mail: Akane_Bunny_Tendo@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13

AN - WARNING!!!WARNING!!!**This fic is meant for the adult audience, it is not intended for viewers younger than 13 years of age. ** WARNING!!! WARNING!!! Also, the characters, as you'll see in the later portion of this section, are more sensitive, emotionally.And please remember that just because Helga does not end up with Arnold in the BEGINNING does not necessarily mean that will be the outcome of this story.That's it, enjoy!! ;) 

*indicates further explanation below

~*Ten Things I Hate About You*~

Blue eyes clashed with cold, hazel eyes as the two "combatants" sat by face-to-face, each giving the other a look-over from head to toe.One eying the other with a fierce coldness, the other with both uncertainty and indifference; in a way it was a battle.The only sound cascading throughout the room was the constant ticking of the renaissance clock on the far left side of the room.

Roaming her eyes over the doctor before her, she was everything Helga expected out of this posh psychologist.Golden blond hair tied up in the back with just a few tendrils slipping down the sides to accentuate her long, round facial features.A pinched up nose rested between her cold, saucer-like hazel eyes.She didn't have to look to see the expensive uniform she was draped in, neither the jewelry hanging from her neck.Though looking over once more, seeing how intricately placed was her make-up over her facial features, as if she had needed it there, she stopped with one thought."…to hide something?" She thought out loud without so much as a care for the person hearing it.

Looking over the child before her, she too had a few glimpses and observations of her own.Seeing her eyes roam over her face, knowing exactly what it was she was focusing on, she knew."…to hide something?" she heard her say."Why of course," she answered back nonchalantly, if not cold."Everyone has something to hide, do they not?"Turning towards the right corner of her desk, she opened a drawer, pulling out a fairly large clipboard.

"Ahhh… so this is the part of the 'conversation' where you ask me _when was the last time you thought of killing another person or yourself?_Is that it?"She asked with an amused smirk.

"Haughty, aren't we?" Asked the doctor as she brought her pen and clipboard to rest against her desk."Well, seeing as you know our procedures, where then young _lady would_ you like us to start?" She asked, placing a smile on her face.

"Oh, don't you pull that young lady crap with me!" she started with an indignant humph."You doctors are all alike." She said as she fixed her posture and began her general imitation of the person before her.Feigning holding a clipboard in one hand, coffee mug in the other, she looked past the doctor with a sense of indifference before speaking."So, how was your life like…" a brief pause here while looking down at her imaginative clipboard, "Helen, was it?Oh, yes, yes… I see it now.Helga… Helga Pataki."She corrected herself, again looking back up through the doctor."Go ahead and tell me about your life.Be sure to include anything disastrous that's happened over the recent years.After all, it's not everyday that everyone is capable of measuring up to my grand stature…"

"Enough!" yelled out Dr. D. in exasperation."This is getting too far," she thought as she gripped the handlebars of her chair."Have you come here for help or to imitate and make a mockery of all psychologists alike?!"She yelled, looking harshly towards the girl before her."You think I spend all this time in here just to hear you indignant patients rant on restlessly about the harsh reality of my work?Wake up!You came here for help and I'm willing to give it to you, but not until I get the background I need.I may be cold, but that's what has left me capable of sustaining my existence in this petty, pathetic little thing we call _life_!So don't waste my time _young lady_!" she said biting out each word.Sighing, she sat back and crossed her legs.

Helga could only sit there in complete shock though that did not hide the steam erupting from every crevice of her body.Young lady… mockery… indignant…Each word beat out loudly like a drum towards her."The nerve of that callous half-breed!" she thought with malice."Just who the hell do you think you are, you cold beast?!" she shouted jumping out of her seat."Have you any idea what hell I've been through?!Have you?Here you are sitting in luxury, not a d%#n care in the world.You don't know the hurt I've been through.How could you possibly know?How…" she went on, her fists clenching at her sides, shaking uncontrollably with rage.

A sigh erupted from the doctor as she looked on with a ghastly face."Don't make references to things you don't know, my child," she stated with a longing look on her face, only to be covered by the coldness that was there before."Maybe… we've gotten off on the wrong foot," she said, looking on ahead.

Helga allowed herself to calm down a tad before sitting down in the chair, not looking at all pleased with the situation at hand."Wrong foot is right," she spat out.

Ignoring her statement, Dr. D. allowed herself to sit back and ponder on about the young girl before her."You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger," she mused smiling.

"And just what are you implying?" asked Helga indignantly."But of course, if you mean I'll have this posh lifestyle of yours," she began with a look of great thought and a smile at the edge of her lips."…then I suppose I'm not as bad off as I thought I was."

Dr. D. could only laugh on in amusement."So much like myself," she thought happily for once."This could be very interesting indeed," she thought on."Well, someone has to take the first step, I suppose," she thought, fingering her chin slightly."Tell me Helga.What has gotten to you so much as for you to have this frigid attitude of yours?"

"Frigid?" she asked with humph.

"You know," carried on the doctor, ignoring the look of denial on her face."I used to be just like you, still am actually.Not that I'm always pleased with my indifference towards the outside world.Though I must say, this job has made me amused in more ways than one," she said motioning her eyes over to her surroundings.Seeing the amused smirk on the girl's face, she continued."But to do that, I had to face many fears and torments within my life.I suffered many a great turmoil to get where I am now.And I'm not simply speaking of my job status.

Seeing the confused look on the girl's face, she continued."What I'm saying, Helga, is that I have hurt in more ways that you can count or even perceive.I was very young when I first gave myself away - very young indeed.I didn't know how I could ever face the outside world with the secrets I hid."Seeing the girl looking at her with complete interest now, she continued."I was only 16 when I met the man of my dreams.He was in his late thirties," she said but was interrupted by Helga's stunned gasp and questioning gaze."Old, yes.But my parents never really cared much.I suppose you could say it was expected of me.A young, naïve girl like me, always out for adventure, always curious what was really behind the enclosed wall of my home-life.The time I spent with him is a time I much, to this day, regret with all my being.

"I was alone.Not in the sense that there was no one around me, or I had no friends, but… just solemnly alone.He was my light.The person I knew would get me out of my troubles, towards what I needed in life.Or at least, that was what he told me at the time.He'd always lavish me with money and expensive gifts.In return, it was my body he would always find his way back to.I was so young at the time.So young that," at this, she took a stray intake of breath."…I didn't even see it coming.It was when I was with child that I was finally awakened to what life really was.After the news of the pregnancy, I never saw him again.Not so much as a goodbye.I did, however, receive a grand check in the mail several weeks later with a note._For the baby_ was the only thing written.After that… I didn't know what to do.I didn't know whom to turn to.Sure there was the money, but… was that enough?Was it ever enough?" she asked not expecting an answer."I knew there was no way I could raise a baby on my own.And the thought of a nanny had never crossed my mind at the time.I knew the way they treated children not of their own.I couldn't bare it.

"To have my family hear of this news at this time of my life… with me at such a young age.This would be unbearable.I had nowhere to turn to.No person I could go to and talk this through with.No one to tell me _everything would be okay… eventually_.Several days later, I made my decision.A decision that put me in the hospital for weeks, a decision that brought about the end of the life form inside me and almost myself.It's a day I will never forget.From that day forward, I vowed to myself, never again would I ever let anyone inside, inside my heart.The pain, the unbearable pain… it was just too much.I went on with my life without a care in the world, indifferent to those around me - a cold shell with not an ounce of care for mankind.It certainly has helped, don't you think?Nice life, stout living, a wonderful job.I suppose you could say it was a good learning experience for me, not one I'd like to relive though."She ended this with a pondering look.

"So, that is my life.Has that tempted you enough?Or do you need me to tell you how it felt to have my life ripped away from me all my years?" she asked to the stunned girl.

"N… no… she said as she finally looked up, tears brimming in her eyes."I guess… I guess I never thought," she said, not daring her mind to continue with the sentence.

"Sometimes life is hard, but we get by.The first step in all this is to recognize your faults, the missed steps in your life, and proceed from there.But you cannot do that until you are first able to look yourself in the mirror and accept them all… know that the world is not over with a simple crack of the whip.To know that it's only just begun."

Outside the waiting room, Phoebe was getting more impatient by the minute."Should I go in," she asked herself.Another part of her mind told her that everything would be just fine, but still she was not sure.She had been sitting there for the last 10 minutes listening to nothing but a heated battle emanating from the inside of Dr. Düsterheit's office.Then, without as much as a minute, there was complete silence.

"Is there something you need, Miss. Hyerdahl," asked Dianne as she saw her approaching the office door.

Stopping her approach, she turned to look at the young secretary before answering, "no, nothing at all Dianne.I was just going to check up on them.I'm just worried about my friend and…" at this, she looks somewhat doubtful."…well, you know how Dr. Düsterheit is."

"…." Was Dianne's first reaction before smiling knowingly."Yes, of course.Who could miss," she said before bringing her hand up to cover a giggle about to erupt.Soon they both found themselves giggles helplessly before Phoebe took off towards the office door yet again.

Opening the door slightly, she called out, "excuse me Dr…"

"Don't you imbeciles know how to knock?!" Began Dr. Düsterheit before recognizing her visitor as Phoebe Hyerdahl."Oh, Phoebe, it's you.Is there anything I can help you with?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, no… nothing doctor.I just came in to check up on my friend." She said almost worried.

"We're doing quite fine, Hyerdahl.Now, if you don't mind…" she said before excusing her.

Looking towards Helga, she saw her non-verbal, _everything's fine_, and was on her way."Maybe I was right from the beginning after all," she thought as she left the office."They both need each other."

Inside the room, a vast silence fell upon them yet again.There was a mental battle raging on within Helga's mind.Here was this doctor, apparently cold and short-tempered, yet… behind this façade of bitterness to anything living, was a hurt and pained individual much like herself in many ways.And yet, she was opening herself up to her, for what?Why, she of all people?"Why?" she suddenly asked.At the doctor's questioning gaze, she continued, "why are you telling me this?Why ruin your barrier now?"

The doctor looked skeptical for a while before finally speaking."Ruin?" she asked as if it had never even crossed her mind."Ruining anything would be the last thing on my mind now.At most, I think I'd be helping you, Helga.I see a lot in you that reminds me of myself and I don't want to see you making the same mistake.Nor do I want to see you a cold, indignant, old witch as I am today later on in your life.So please, now that I've opened up to you… will you give me the benefit of the doubt… at least grow to trust me?" she asked looking somewhat hopeful.

"I suppose I could," she answered looking somewhat doubtful."But… do you really think it…" she said with a sign of sorrow.

"It only gets better, Helga… with help… It only gets better."

End part three

Stay tuned for the next chapter of this continuing story

*I really distaste giving away too much, but… alas… next chapter, we find out what happened between Helga and Arnold… why did he go for (sorry, surprise) and more importantly, why did Helga give up her love for him and move on to Derek?So many questions all in need of answers.

* Again, this is a first draft, so… I always leave the editing for later.Oy! JAnd short, but… a girl can only type for so long. J


	4. Chapter Four

Title: Ten Things I Hate About You - Part four

Author: Akane "Bunny" Tendo

E-mail: Akane_Bunny_Tendo@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13

AN - WARNING!!!WARNING!!!**This fic is meant for the adult audience, it is not intended for viewers younger than 13 years of age. ** WARNING!!! WARNING!!! Also, the characters, as you'll see in the later portion of this section, are more sensitive, emotionally.And please remember that just because Helga does not end up with Arnold in the BEGINNING does not necessarily mean that will be the outcome of this story.That's it, enjoy!! ;) 

*indicates further explanation below

~*Ten Things I Hate About You*~

Finally, the fog has cleared and that of a warm, nurturing condition has instead replaced the residual marks of rage.We are greeted now to a friendlier atmosphere.One in which all hatred, pain, and remorse shall be opened up to two newly found friends - two hopeful friends in search of a similar bond.New insights are revealed as the doors of truth and awakening open themselves up to these two soul-searching kindred spirits.*

Dr. Düsterheit wiped away any traces of the sudden burst of emotion she had just let out whilst allowing her senses to calm down."I suppose there's a first time for everything," she thought with a wry grin.Taking up her clipboard, she forcefully threw it into the trashcan at her side.At Helga's questioning glance she explained, "I don't think we'll be needing this anymore."

Helga sat there stunned.For once in a while she didn't have a psychologist made of dead steel simply working by the books."I've had enough of that for now," she thought in disgust."Maybe she can even help me fill this empty void I have within me."Looking up, she glanced at the doctor with a tender smile."Where do we start now?" she asked with just a hint of worry, yet allowing a part of herself to accept and bring out enough to offer to the possible newfound friend before her.

The doctor thought about this for a while before answering."Well, maybe you can start with your past.When did you first start feeling any emotions of hurt, of pain?Maybe we can start from there."

Helga thought about this for a while.She was smiling at first, but then a frown began to overtake her features with each awakening memory.Working through her past, she began to see pieces of a puzzle fit together.She saw and remembered the pain she felt as each person she allowed into her life give her nothing but pain.Until of course…

"I guess you could say it all started when I was born."At the doctor's shocked and questioning gaze, she continued."I suppose my family is not what you'd consider a child's greatest picture of warmth and nurture as in the fairy tales.But let's face it.I was stuck with this one," she said with a hint of malice spreading across her features.

"One of the worst times I've had, though I must admit, others have come by, was with my sister and my parents.I suppose you've heard the tale - little sister constantly having to battle over the picturesque older sister.I guess you could say it was a battle in my family.A battle I was never meant to win, however."Taking out a picture, she held it up to her chest, pondering with resignation."I truly did love her, you know?My sister.But… it's hard to picture a time that brought me such pain with any semblance of gratitude or forgiveness.I never have been good on the forget and forgiving side of things."

"So I take it you were always considered the underdog in your family, is that it?" asked Dr. Düsterheit.At Helga's approval, she continued."Every family has these problems, Helga.It's not something to…"

"No…" she said so faintly the doctor could hardly hear it."You don't understand," she continued."It's not like everyone else… it's not!" she almost screamed at her.After sensing her slip up, she breathed in and relaxed for a moment."You just don't understand.I know you've had your problems and… You see," she said while fingering her hands."My parents were always ignoring me.Constantly patronizing me for not being as good as her.It was Olga this and Olga that.I began to eventually loathe the girl!I couldn't stand it anymore.One day… when I saw my opportunity… I guess you could say, I took it… head on."

~*flashback sequence begins*~

We step forward into a hazy scene, it's atmosphere covered in mist and fog.As the picture clears, we see a plane and what appears to be two figures standing before it - one with a look of indifference in her features and the other with a look of painful longing.

"Please, Helga.Why does it have to be this way? Why don't you want me by your side, little sister?" asked, the taller figure, her beige hat swirling in the wind.She was looking down longingly into the blue eyes before her, her face contorted in a painful expression.

"Because I can't stand you being here with me!" shouted the other towards the tall figure hovering above her."You're ruining my life!Why can't you see that?Why?Ever since the day you were born you've tormented and meddled into my very existence.I can't stand it anymore Olga!I just… I just can't…" she ended in a low voice, dropping her chin below her neckline.

"If… if you think things will be for the better this way," she started, her long dress flowing with the gentle tide of the winds."I'll let you be then… little sister," she finished as she walked her way up the staircase and into oblivion.

"Olga…" said the other, looking over as the steps to the airplane were taken away.As the sound of the jet engine screamed into her ears, a feeling of regret and impending doom rose into her very being."It must be the chill," she said before making her way back into the airport building.Stopping mid-step, she turned around to see the plane take off into the air before turning and continuing her steps.

Before she could make those final steps however, a shrill scream and a sudden burst of explosion made her change her mind.The force was so grand she could feel her feet vibrating over the flat surface of the floor.So much so that she had to force her body to keep up in balance.Time stopped as her head made each degree of movement towards the sound of the blast."No," her voice screamed into her mind."Please… god, no!"Turning around, she witnessed the scene of her worst nightmare.

A flare of light was all that could be seen of the explosion as its form deteriorated into the foggy air.Screams were erupted from various witnesses in the surrounding areas."Call the police… the fireman… anyone!" screamed a lady with her two children close behind."My husband was on that plane," yelled another, her own baby cradled within her arms."Mommy, what's happening," asked a child no more than two years old as she looked up at her father.He could only stare on in shock.

Moments later, the sounds of sirens could be heard throughout the thick air of the painful scene.It was later confirmed that there were no survivors.A technical malfunction in the craft they had called it.A great deal of lives had been taken away, not to mention families separated.

~*/end of flashback sequence*~

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she could only shiver throughout the memory."I never… I never got to say goodbye." She said shaking in her chair."I've lost so much.Everyone I've loved… everyone, gone.It's all my fault… all my fault," she called out to no one in particular."Why didn't I tell her not to go?!Why couldn't I have just…? Why?!" she screamed into the air.She stiffened at the feel of two warm arms enclosing her body into them.Looking up, she saw warm hazel eyes, once cold and frightening.

"Helga…" said the doctor in a soothe and calming voice."There's nothing you can change about the past.You can only look forward to the future.Understand this as I tell you.You can only learn.You can never get back your dear sister, but… she will always be in your heart," she said as she gently rocked away the loneliness within the child-like being within her embrace.

"I feel so alone," she said closing her eyes and allowing the tears to swim across her face, splashing down upon her arms."Everyone keeps leaving me, all for my stupid mistakes!" she screamed."First my parents, thought they were never really there, then Olga, then Arnold, and finally everyone!"

"Arnold?" asked the doctor in confusion."You've never mentioned an Arnold before," she said looking down at the girl.

She remained silent for a moment, her breathing short and wavering with each breath."He…" she started with a coarse voice."I guess you could say he was another mistake.A jewel I had left to wonder off and away."

"I'm taking it this was a close love?" she asked as she stepped back, wiping away the streaks of liquid from the girl's cheeks.

"You could say that," she answered placing her palms within her lap."He was one of two people that were always there for me.He would always be there for me telling me what to do.Not in the way as domineering, but… as guidance.He'd always let me know when I was wrong, no matter how much I hounded him down for it.No matter how much I dug down deep into his pride to let him know how I felt towards it.But… it was all a wall I had set up, right from the very beginning.

"I couldn't show love.How could you show something you've never had your entire life?" she asked herself."How could I possibly give someone something I myself have never received before?So the day I met him… the only thing I had close by me to show him how I felt towards him was my wall of anger.I would toss anything by him that would make him turn his way.I was never good enough for him.This I knew.I used this knowledge to turn him away.I wanted him to turn away.

"How could I keep someone like him by my side?Like encompassing a shadow over a bright star.I wouldn't dare bother him with my problems.I couldn't bare it.He had enough as it was.Never having parents.The only memories of them were brief glimpses into the past.I couldn't force upon him something that he might never want or come to understand.

"Oh, how long I wanted to tell him.Wanted to show him I loved him and cared for him more than anything I had ever known.I'd been in love with him ever since I can remember.There was this time though… When we were in our last year of high school together, I thought I saw my chance.I knew it was the only way and the only time."

~*flashback sequence begins*~

The halls of P.S. 120 were covered in students as the first bell to start off the day rang with a burst of energy.Students running amuck down the halls with not a care in the world while others were wondering aimlessly whilst attempting to figure out their schedules.

"This is the day!" yelled a girl with blond hair running past her shoulders."This is the day I tell him!" She practically gleamed towards her friend, thrusting her fist into the air.

"Tell whom what, Helga?" asked her brunette friend.

"Tell the man I pine for just how I feel towards him," she said as she kissed an object in her hand.

"Oooh… do tell girl," pruned the other, awaiting her friend's bait for new gossip."This is a first," thought Megan with a giggle."To know Helga of all people admittedly shows affection for a male counterpart is news to me!" she thought with a grin.She had only known the girl for her boyish nature.Always arising wherever baseball, wrestling, or other boyish sports were concerned.She had never openly allowed herself to be close to or even appear to be close to a guy of the opposite sex, aside from the numerous plays she had taken part in.

"That's for me to know, my dear friend," she answered musically as she strolled down the halls with her friend tagging along side her.A shrill scream made her stop in her tracks, turning around to see what disaster had come upon one of the students of P.S. 120."Hey, Megs.Let's check this out.Could be another locker hyste," stated Helga as she and her friend both scattered on towards the scene.

"I don't think so," answered Megan as she looked on into the crowd."Oh, how beautiful," she started looking dreamily over to the couple before her.

"What are you talking about, Megs?How can a locker prank be…?"Suddenly her words faltered as she took in the scene before her.There standing next to the locker was Nerissa Cambel.Part-time model, long brown hair, green eyes, light tan, a fairly high figure, she was the perfect picture of any males eyes.There she was holding a bouquet of roses.And who else was standing beside her other than a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed young man, his football-shaped head long gone past the age of adolescence.

"I can't believe it.After all these years of him liking her, he finally asked her out," said Megan with heart-filled eyes.Little did she know of the pain emanating within her partner's heart."Don't you think so," she asked while finally turning towards her friend of whom she realized was no longer there.

She ran as fast as she could down the halls, tears flying behind her in the wind."Why," she asked herself."Why did he have to choose her over me?""Maybe because you didn't allow yourself to open up to him," her mind registered to her."But I tried…" she told herself."Tried?Or simply just gave up?" it questioned."I don't know… I just don't know.And now… it's too late.It's far too late.I'll never find another like him again.I can't try anymore.I just can't," she finished with a sob.

~*/end of flashback*

"So long.I waited so long before I finally told him.Told him my true feelings for him.But it was too late.Much too late," she ended, her face contorted in painful shame.

"It's okay, Helga.It's okay," the doctor soothed into Helga's hair.She had again taken her into her comforting embrace moments between the recollection began to unfold."The more you talk about it and the more you let out will help.You'll see… eventually.Who knows, maybe this will give you the power you need to move on with your life," she said as she moved a tendril of hair out and away from the girl's face.

"I hope so, doctor.I honestly hope so." She said before hugging her tightly.

A sudden blast of alert made them jump out of their seats."D#$n, it Dianne!Why don't you get that machine fixed," shouted the doctor, loud enough for the girl on the other side to hear."Please, excuse me, Helga," she began before moving over to her desk.Pressing the button with fierce determination she bellowed into the receiver, "what is it now, Dianne?!"

"S… sorry, mam," began the timid secretary."But your next patient is here waiting for her appointment."

"Tell her I'll be ready for her in a few minutes," she said before removing her finger.Looking towards the girl before her, the indignant look was again replaced with a look of care and nurture towards the "child"."I'm sorry, Helga, but it appears our time has been cut short," she said moving away from her desk.

"I'm sorry I've taken up so much of your time, doctor," she began before being interrupted by the gentle woman before her.

"Please, it's nothing.And you may call me Anne from now on," the doctor stated before opening up the door to her office.

Slipping her bag over her shoulder, Helga moved towards the door to make her departure.Before leaving however, she took the doctor in a tight embrace."Thank you, doc… Anne," she corrected herself."For being there and listening."

"Think nothing of it my child," she said as she too hugged her back."And remember to set up another appointment with Dianne.I want to see you back here again."

"Oh, I will.Trust me, I will," she said before leaving.

Outside the doctor's office, a similar patient was wondering the entrance of the Düsterheit building."…this isn't right!" he screamed as his friend made his way into the building, tagging him along.

Helga could only look on in amazement as she walked past them, a smile on her face.It was good to finally get that out of her system after having it built up for so long.Walking out into the sunny atmosphere, she pondered on what was to come.Would she ever overcome her past?Would she be able to face the future with a clear mind?

End of part three

* Ahh… I loved Anne of Green Gables?:P

** Tried to make this one slightly longer and more compelling to read.Though my eyes are taking on a fierce red appearance.JK J

*** More information is given into Helga's dramatic past.Some events from the show have been left off and altered as you can clearly see.This is of course a work of fiction… :PPlease all Olga lovers… don't flame me!I want to live to see another day. J

**** Lastly, and most importantly, thank you to all who have reviewed my story thus far.I know it really touched many of you in various ways.Please remember though that actions taking place in this story should not be taken out amongst yourself.Thanks to you reviewers for reminding me of that fact.It's hard dealing with the pain at times, but even harder when you feel as though you have to go at it alone, no matter how many of those are around you… one can still feel alone in a crouded room.I'm not even prepared to go into my own experience with this little fact.So, until next time…

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ


	5. Chapter Five (a)

Title: Ten Things I Hate About You - Part five (a)

Author: Akane "Bunny" Tendo

E-mail: HelgaGPataki@excite.com

Rating: R

AN - WARNING!!!WARNING!!!**This fic is meant for the adult audience, it is not intended for viewers younger than 17 years of age. ** WARNING!!! WARNING!!! Also, the characters, as you'll see in the later portion of this section, are more sensitive, emotionally.And please remember that just because Helga does not end up with Arnold in the BEGINNING does not necessarily mean that will be the outcome of this story.That's it, enjoy!! ;) 

*indicates further explanation below

~*Ten Things I Hate About You*~

First there was darkness… overwhelming darkness.Then came the faint view of light through the flesh of her eyelids.Sensing it was now morning, she gradually allowed her eyes to flutter open, slowly exposing the near-blinding morning light to her vision.Suddenly, one hand shot through the air, grabbing hold of the nearby blanket solely to enclose her from the morning light.

"It's morning already?" she asked herself as she layed back against her queen-sized bed. "I swear, I have to get blinds for that window!It's a Saturday for crying out loud."Taking the hint that the heavens would no longer grant her wish of longer nights, she reluctantly dragged herself out of bed."I guess it's another long day," she said as she made her way to the bathroom.

Looking through the mirror, she did a take of herself for several moments; looking from one angle to another, studying every possible flaw in her appearance."Surely, I look good enough to get his mind off of whatever distraction he's been holding onto lately," she told herself as she studied her gem-like, green eyes.

After retrieving a good glimpse of herself, she decided to take a long, warm bath to soothe her troubles.After all, it must be quite difficult having photographers at your side day-in and day-out.These situations, along with the horrors of schoolwork, may cause severe wrinkling to one's facial features!

Allowing the gentle water to splash against her skin, she began to think back on her life.The dream she had always wanted since she was a child… to be a model. "Not just a model," she thought."A supermodel."But was that really her true wish?

She came from a family rich in the entertainment business.Therefore, she felt compelled and at some instances, forced into that path.It was what was expected of her.

~*Flashback sequence*~

Brightness is all that was evident at first, until the child was finally able to distinguish the room before her from the light shining within her eyes.Looking around, she could see through the haze dozens of shadowed figures hovering over her tiny form.She was no more than four years old then.

"This one seems fit enough to carry on the family name," started one with a smile that usually meant he was solely out for money.He was, as she later recalled, the family businessman.

"Oh, I'm not so sure of that," answered another."Are you sure she has the right facial structure?You never know once they get older, lad.They grow on you and before you know it, you're thrown with the princess's frog instead."

"I'm more than sure that will not be the case," answered a man with a deep voice.This one she knew very well as her father's.She began to smile at the thought that her father was sticking up to her, being that she was his only daughter.That is, until she heard the rest of his speech."My daughter will become the best model in her years, no matter what I have to do to make it so!" he shouted, his voice deep and meaningful.

"We'll see about that," said the others with slight chuckles as they left the room.

Before she knew it, she was held up high into the sky by her father's hands."You will not disappoint your father, now will you?" he asked her, piercing his eyes deep within her own."You will work hard to do well within this family, no matter how old you are," he bellowed down to her."Your mother didn't die on me having you just for the sake of you being born, you get that?!" he continued, till he could see the tears cascading down her cheeks."Now go up to your room and change out of that filthy wardrobe.And have Lilian do something with that hair of yours," he said as he placed her down and walked over to his study.

Endless nights she had spent crying in her room, fearing she would not be good enough for him, let alone the rest of the world."Please, God," she would plead to the heavens."Please make me beautiful for my father when I grow up."

Within years, she began to lose her inner-child.Her entire life would now be in the hands of others.The secrets she hid within her solely to get by within her own family, let alone the rest of the world.

~*End of Flashback*~

Shaking with both fear and self-hatred for the life she did not entirely choose, she rinsed all remnants of soap from her body.Allowing the tears to mix in with the flowing water, she began to concentrate on her thoughts for her current boyfriend. 

In the recesses of her mind was a growing fear."Will he leave me if he ever knew?" she asked herself as she positioned her body before and over the seat."I have to… there's no other choice," she told herself as she focused on the future of her task; beauty, perfection, and the love of her father and everyone around her.But most of all, "control."She needed a bit of that in her life.It was the only thing she could fully grasp.The only thing in her life that she could say she was doing based on her own free will.

As she placed her finger through her mouth, she heard the beeping of her answering machine.

Hey, it's Nerissa!Sorry I can't be in right now.Leave me a message and I'll get right 

back to you!

"Hey sweety," came that all too familiar voice from the other end."I'll be a little 

late for dinner.But I'm looking forward to it.I can't wait to look into those 

beautiful eyes," he said before the click of the receiver was heard.

At the sound of his voice, her finger quickly withdrew from her mouth."What am I doing?" she asked herself aloud, hoping her voice could give wake to her actions.Stepping up, she looked once again into the mirror before her."I was never good enough for him was I?" she asked the figure in front of her."Beauty and no heart," she said in a whisper before she through an object at her mirror, shattering it."Am I to lose him just as I lost them?" she asked no one in particular.

Taking the silence as an answer, she did her daily routine before making her way out."I can't dwell on this for the rest of my life," she told herself."Must go on.If not for myself then…"That thought layed dormant in her mind.Another thought of ending this hurt gone to naught.

*Again, this is only 1/3 of this part.I'm trying desperately to get this story through.This one I feel extremely emotionally attached to.It's a brief introduction into this character's life.


End file.
